3 HUMBLE FISHERMAN TEACH A BISHOP ~Must We Only Pray a Certain Way?

Back in the early 1600s a Bishop's ship stopped on a remote Hawaiian island for a day.  The Bishop determined to use the time as profitably as possible.  He strolled along the seashore and came across three fishermen mending their nets.  He thought it was a good opportunity for him to share the Gospel with these men.  In Pidgin English they explained to him that their peoples had been Christianized by missionaries many years ago.  "We are Christians!" they exclaimed proudly pointing to one another  The Bishop was impressed.

He wondered to himself, "Do they know the Lord's Prayer?" It turned out that they never even heard of it!  The Bishop was shocked.

"What do you say, then, when you pray?" " We lift our eyes to heaven.  We pray, 'We are three, you are three, have mercy on us."  The Bishop was appalled at the primitive, the downright heretical nature of their prayer. He believed he must teach these immature believers how to properly pray.

So he spent the whole day teaching them the Lord's Prayer.  The fisherman were poor learners, but they gave it all they had, and before the Bishop sailed away next day he had the satisfaction of hearing them go through the whole formula without a fault.

Months later the Bishop's ship happened to pass by those islands again and the Bishop, as he paced the deck saying his evening prayers, recalled with pleasure the three men on that distant island who were now able to properly pray, thanks to his patient efforts.  Without realizing it he was thinking in a prideful manner as if due to his superior position and knowledge he was able to help make those uneducated fisherman more wise. 

While he was lost in thought he happened to look up and noticed a spot of light in the east.  The light kept approaching the ship and, as the Bishop gazed in wonder, he saw three figures walking on the water!  The captain stopped the boat and everyone leaned over the rails to see this amazing and miraculous sight.

When they were within speaking distance, the Bishop recognized that it was his three friends, the fishermen.  "Bishop!" they exclaimed.  'We hear your boat go past island and come hurry hurry meet you."

"What is it you want?" asked the awe-stricken Bishop.  "Bishop," they said, "we so, so sorry.  We forget lovely prayer.  We say, 'Our Father in heaven, holy be your name, your kingdom come...' then we forget.  Please tell us prayer again."

The Bishop, felt greatly humbled. "Go back to your homes, my friends," he said, "and each time you pray, say, "We are three, you are three, have mercy on us!"

"The LORD is near to all them that call on him, to all that call on him in truth." ~ Psalms 145:18

THE DEVIL'S FAVORITE TOOL

It has been said that the devil, prospering as a result of war, and convinced that hell was already firmly established on earth, decided he no longer needed to work so hard and advertised most of his equipment for sale. However, he refused to part with one tool labeled "discouragement". He knew he would want it if he ever returned to active work.
Said he, "When I get people downhearted and discouraged, they soon give up trying to lead good lives and easily come under my power."


COMMENTARY

Why is it that discouragement is such a valued tool of our advesary? I believe it is powerful, in a negative way, because it can lead to so many other sins. When we become downhearted and discouraged we start to care less and less about living good lives or anything else for that matter. The depths of despair have often broken the strongest followers of Christ. Discouragement can lead to abandonment of the faith, despondency in life, depression or even suicide. No wonder it is a prized tool for our advesary.

If one is deeply discouraged he may even go to the point of questioning God. I have done this myself. There have been times in my life when I felt as if I was living right and doing all I could to make ends meet but one bad thing after another would happen. How can you really love me, O God, and allow these things to happen? Yes to be honest, I have cried out angrily at God more often than I would like to admit. I thank Him for His unconditional love and patience with me in these times. He understands. He does see what is going on in our hearts and thoughts in these tough times. Most importantly, He does care, even if it doesn't appear that way. It is very important to know, regardless of how you may feel, you are NOT alone. When you find yourself to the point of tears in your discouragement remember these comforting words:

"Record my misery;

list my tears on your scroll,

are they not in your record?"

(Pslams 56:8)

This is God's way of letting us know that He is with us and takes note of every single tear that we drop. He is so loving!

There are two definitions of discouragement from Webster's dictionary:
1. The act of making something less likely to happen, or making people less likely to do something
2. A feeling of having lost hope or confidence

Most people would refer to the second if asked what discouragement means. The first, definition, however, is one that our advesary probably appreciates more.

Think of it in military terms and this may help to understand what it does in the spiritual battlefield. Discouragement is like a heavy rock that one chooses to carry on the battlefield. With this heavy rock one must use both hands and it slows him down tremendously. With this rock one also cannot use their weapons to fight either. This makes for an easy target for the enemy. In the application I will go over how we can drop this rock.

We also need to understand that discouragement and pain is relative to each person. What I mean by this is that someone may come up to a discouraged person and say, "It could always be worse." More often than not, to those suffering, those words are bitter. While they do concede that, yes, it could be worse and even may be grateful for that, at the same time they may think, "It could also be much better, you just don't understand the pain I am feeling".

Sometimes what may appear to be the end of the world for one person would only be considered a small obstacle to another. I say this so that when you do deal with a person that is discouraged you should always realize that this person may be feeling much more pain than you imagine. Be delicate.

I sometimes think of the people of great faith in the bible. They are valiant and inspiring. Yet I often wonder, What about the moments that were not written about? For example, when I look at the life of Joseph in the Old Testament I would not be surprised if he often cried out to God, "Why, O God, Why? How could you let my brothers leave me for dead? Have me sold into slavery? Falsely accused by Potiphar's wife and imprisoned? I don't deserve these things."

Though we don't read of this he surely would have been justified had he done so. King David often cried out like this. I believe that even if Joseph or others did indeed question God, even angrily at times, they still kept believing regardless of how things looked on the outside. That is true faith, "..the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." (Heb 11:1) While they may have had times of doubt and fear, they kept believing and remained steadfast in their trust of the Lord in the long run.

"Permanance, perserverance, and persistance in spite of all obstacles, discouragement, and impossibilities: It is this, that in all things distinguishes the strong souls from the weak." ~ Thomas Carlyle


APPLICATION

So how does one actually shun discouragement and walk in faith when everything is going so wrong? How do we find hope when we feel hopeless? How do we walk with courage when we feel so weak? What do you do at the point when you feel you have done all you can but things continue to go from bad to worse? How do you handle the pain of losing one you love? What do we do when all around we are consumed with fear, doubt, worry and stress? How can we "drop the rock of discouragement" as mentioned earlier?

I would like to recommend 4 steps to overcome discouragement in your life.
1. Right desire
2. Guard your heart
3. Pray
4. Believe and trust in God


Right desire- What I mean by this is that you must come to a place in which you see discouragement for what it really is and truly desire for God to remove it from you. Many people sadly will cling to things such as discouragement, fear, bitterness and pain even though they know they are bad for them. Somehow pain and discouragement become friends to them, false and destroying friends but friends nonetheless. Acknowledge that discouragement is not from God and that you no longer want it in your life! I see Jesus as a gentleman and He will never take from you that which you don't want to let go of. If your inner desire is to hold on to discouragement then it will not be removed. Desire for it to be removed!


Guard your heart- "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." (Proverbs 4:23) We must take captive the thoughts that come to our mind. When you find yourself thinking or saying things like, "All is lost, this is only going to get worse", or "I'm just a failure" and the like, STOP! Don't let those thoughts or wicked imaginations continue. As a man thinketh so he is. "Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;" (2Cor 10:5). Focus on positive thoughts...as difficult as it may be. "Finally brethren, whatsoever things are true, honest, just, pure, lovely, are of good report, if there be any virtue, if their be any praise, think on these things." (Phillipians 4:8) I understand it is a mental battle to take your focus off the things that are discouraging you but worrying and doubting never helped anyone. Let go and let God!


Pray - "Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you." (1Peter 5:7). I cannot count the times that I have been under so much stress and filled with worry. The knotting feeling in my stomach wouldn't leave me. It was hard to go about the day without breaking down and crying. Then I woke up and realized I didn't have to carry my burdens alone. I knelt down and prayed. Honest heartfelt prayer, surrendering my fears and giving my burdens to the Lord. Some indescribable spiritual way all the fear left me time and time again. The situation or dire straits I was in did not change at all in that moment...on the outside. But on the inside I knew that it was now in the Lord's hands and all I could do is trust Him. No longer did I fear the worst, nor did I yet know what the outcome was to be. I did, however, know that I just prayed to a God who has a way to turn all things into good and that He would deliver me. I had peace, not the peace of the world but the peace that passeth all understanding.


Believe and trust God - "Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me." (John 14:1) and "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled neither let it be afraid." (John 14:27) When Jesus tells us to not let our hearts be troubled it means we have a choice. We can either let it be troubled and doubt him or not let it be troubled and trust Him. What will you choose?

I know it is a very difficult thing to do at times. I also know that many times in my life when things have been so tough I let myself go through such unnecessary doubt and worry. Most of my worst fears never came to pass. But even if they did at times God always works all things together for good. Sometimes I had to go through those things to become stronger in my faith. Some of the events I have yet to see the positives but I trust God nonetheless. We may not get some things answered until after this life but we have to trust that He knows best! God often comes through in the last moment or shortly after failure. He tends to do that but I realize it is only so that I may learn to trust and believe in Him earlier next time.

"Every great work, every great accomplishment, has been brought into manifestation through holding the vision, and often just before the big achievement comes apparent failure and discouragement." ~Florence Scovel Shinn

So let's not let the horrible tool of discouragement work in our lives anymore. God is on our side and if God is for us who can be against us?
John Finley

A Man Who Lost His Job ~ Helping others overcome their failures

There was once a man who had an ambition to be a writer; he had succeeded in publishing a book and some magazine articles, but it seemed impossible to make a living for his family by relying on his pen.

Through the influence of a friend he secured a position as a weigher in the Boston customhouse. After two years he lost his job. He went home to his wife a failure. A college graduate thirty-seven years old who had lost his job paying only one hundred dollars a month and had no prospects at all for the future.

His wife greeted his dismal announcement with the words, "That's wonderful, now you are free to write your book, I believe in you!" Under the stimulus of her faith he wrote one of the greatest of all American novels, The Scarlet Letter.

COMMENTARY

Many people are not strong enough to turn defeat into victory unless they receive encouragement from others. It is amazing how many people in this world have become a great success when, not too long before that, they seemed to be total failures.

Mrs. Hawthorne could've been cold and condesending to her husband at that weak humbling moment if she chose to. He walked in with his head and heart down low and her belief in him and words of encouragment changed the whole scene.

"Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I will not forget you. Love me and I may be forced to love you." ~ William Arthur Ward

APPLICATION

Do you know someone who at this moment is feeling like a failure? Perhaps it's one of the many that are unemployed in today's tough economy. There are many that feel like giving up in these tough times. Give them words of encouragement. Let them know that you care about them and that you believe in them.

"Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers." Ephesians 4:29

Think of those in your family. In most families nowadays there is at least one person that is greatly struggling and feeling down. I challenge you to contact that person and give them a word of encouragement. Who knows what the outcome will be?

~ John Finley

The Two Natures of Man ~ How to overcome sin in your life

There once was an eskimo that owned about fifty dogs. Every week on Saturday he would bring them into town where the dogs would fight, and people would bet on them.
The eskimo who owned the dogs would also bet. His nephew noticed that his uncle would also always win his bets. At first he thought it was just because his uncles knew his dogs well but he saw that sometimes a dog that was beaten by another dog would win in a different match weeks later against the same dog and he was perplexed.
One day he went to him and said, "Uncle, how do you always know which dogs will win the fight?" "Well, nephew," responded the eskimo, "I will tell you, but you have to promise to keep it a secret ok?" " I will, the nephew said. "It's actually very simple, I only bet on the dogs I feed during the week."

COMMENTARY

The bible says we all have two natures. One is carnal (flesh) and one is spiritual. And the moral we can draw from this story is that which ever one we feed the most is the one that will win the battles life brings us. We are to walk in the Spirit and not in the flesh.

"For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace." Romans 8:6

I believe this story helps to answer the question; "How does one overcome sin?" The answer, silly as it sounds, is that you are what you eat. What is it you allow in to yourself on a daily basis? The things you listen to, what you look at, where you go, the kind of friends you socialize with, and most importantly the thoughts you think, are all ways that you feed yourself. We are always feeding ourself and you have the choice as to which nature you are feeding.

For example, take a man who has cheated on his wife. He may say, "It just happened, the temptation came and I gave in." But in truth, it rarely just happens. This man most likely had many thoughts of infidelity prior to the act. He fed his carnal nature far more than his spiritual nature and when the temptation (battle) came his spiritual nature was unnourished and weak while his carnal nature was strong.

The sad thing is that many blame God when they end up giving into a sin or have been trying to overcome a sin that they have been struggling with for years. If this is you, look at your life. Are you doing things that feed the sin nature or are you avoiding those things? Truth is we all feed a little of both natures on a daily basis. Sometimes you just can't avoid it. The key is to always make sure you're spiritual nature is well fed.

If you are a parent I would also apply this story to how you are feeding your children. Are you feeding them with knowledge and wisdom that can help them to avoid the tempations they will face? Do they mostly get fed by what they see on tv, internet, movies and other friends? If so, then they will not be strong enough to win the battles and temptations that come their way.

APPLICATION

I suggest you take a good look at yourself for the past week. The places you have gone, the things you have seen, what you do online, the people you associate with and the thoughts you have thought.
Which nature are you feeding the most?

The bible says, "As the bird by wandering, as the swallow by flying, so the curse causeless shall not come."Proverbs 26:1-3

Some ways to feed the spiritual nature are: think good thoughts, prayer, read the Word, go to church, bible studies, avoid negative and sinful thoughts.

And you don't have to be a monk either. You can enjoy life and walk in the Spirit at the same time!

John Finley

False Power Always Fails ~ The difference between real and false power

Mussolini, presiding at a celebration in Rome while at the height of his power, cried out: “Since prehistoric times, one shout has come down on the waves of the centuries, ‘Woe to the weak!'"

Evidently Mussolini had not listened very attentively to the shouts of the past. Had he done so, from the spot where he stood he could have heard the dying groans of the Roman Empire. All about him were the relics of a civilization that was unable to perpetuate itself by force.

Perhaps Mussolini had never studied the history of Egypt, Assyria, and Babylon. Evidently he had never meditated on the downfall of Napoleon. In his ignorance of the past, he was blind to the fact that his own house was built on sand.

No nation has ever maintained itself permanently by force alone. If it does not go down before a combination of powers, it suffers inner disintegration because it loses the loyalty of its own people. Only when force is the expression of righteousness does it permanently endure.

COMMENTARY

I used to think that to have power meant you had to have great wealth and great authority. The scriptures beg to differ. Take Jesus for example. In the eyes of the affluent, the religious leaders and the Romans he wasn’t one to be esteemed. He didn’t possess any grand titles, he had no wealth, he wasn’t educated by some elite teacher of the day, and he didn’t even have his own home.

It is also ironic that Napoleon is mentioned in the story above because he once stated, “Alexander, Caesar, Charlemagne, and I have founded great empires, but upon what did these creations of our genius depend? Upon force! Jesus alone founded his empire on love, and to this very day millions would die for him. I think I understand something of human nature, and I tell you that all these were men and I am a man. None else was like him. Jesus Christ was more than a man.”

I have always been a little perplexed in understanding Napoleon. Though he is notoriously remembered for being a brutal and violent man, I believe that he knew there was a greater power out there and a path more noble than the one he chose.

For example, one night, it has been written, that he was with many of his leaders on the ship "L'Orient" headed for Egypt. As the men sat on the deck, they engaged in a discussion of religion. The opinion was generally expressed that the belief in God was an ancient idea which had once served a valuable purpose but was no longer needed by intelligent people. Napoleon was silent as he listened to the conversation. As he arose to go to his room he pointed to the stars shining brilliantly in the darkness and said, "Messieurs, who made all that?"

Jesus, being fully man and fully God, had the power to do whatever he wanted. But he came to fulfill a mission. Part of His mission was to give the world an example of how we each should live. As the Romans brutally whipped him to the edge of death he could’ve stopped them at any moment, but He didn’t.

True power is not what the world says it is. To those who looked on as the bloody Jesus carried his cross, He looked weak and powerless. We know, however, that within Him was all the power in the universe.

So one sign of true power is to do the will of God regardless of how you look on the outside and even sometimes how you feel inside.

This last verse of a hymn by Charles Wesley demonstrates the power we have when we surrender to God:

All things are possible to God;
To Christ, the power of God in me;
Now shed Thy mighty Self abroad,
Let me no longer live, but Thee;
Give me this hour in Thee to prove
The sweet omnipotence of love.

APPLICATION

No longer look at those who have great wealth, high education, big titles, connections and worldly influence as ones that have true power. Ones that have true power may be blessed to have these things, but the ones who have true power have surrendered themselves to God and let Him reign through them. As John the Baptist said, “I must decrease that He may increase.” This holds true for you and me. Do all things in love. And as the bible says, "Don't be overcome with evil, but overcome evil with good."

I, like many other Christians, used to become so angry at the corruption I see in our government, and the world's governments. I felt adamant that I should do something to expose what's really going on. I began to feel powerless believing that the wicked controlled the media and that they would continue to lie and get away with so much evil. I started to see conspiracies in so many events. I now believe that kind of thinking is a trap to avoid.

One day I came across a verse from the book of Proverbs that brought me peace. It says, "The king's heart is in the hand of the Lord, like the rivers of water; He turns it wherever he wishes." (Proverbs 21:1). I realized that God is in control and I need not worry. God certainly does not condone the evil that is done by many of our leaders but He works all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.

Why do the nations rage,
And the people plot a vain thing?
The kings of the earth set themselves,
And the rulers take counsel together,
Against the LORD and against His Anointed, saying,
“Let us break Their bonds in pieces
And cast away Their cords from us.”

He who sits in the heavens shall laugh;
The Lord shall hold them in derision.Then He shall speak to them in His wrath,
And distress them in His deep displeasure: ~ Psalm 2:1-5

In conlusion I would like to say that the greatest and only undefeatable power in the universe is Love, not force.

J. Lawrence Finley

The Old Man and Abraham ~ Having patience with others

There is an old jewish legend regarding Abraham. It says that one day he was by his tent in the desert among his family and friends when and old man came upon them. The man was 100 years old and was using a cane to walk with.

As was the custom Abraham welcomed the man and offered to make him a meal and a place to sleep for the night. Abraham had made a nice meal with lamb for the old man. When they sat down to eat Abraham raised his plate to the heavens and thanked God for his provision. The old man, however, simply started to eat his meal.

This bothered Abraham and he motioned for the old man to stop eating. He asked him, "Don't you bless God for the provisions He gives you?" "I don't worship God," replied the old man, "I only worship fire." And he commenced eating for he was very hungry.

This outraged Abraham and he shouted at the man for his lack of reverance and faith towards his God. He made the old man get up and leave at once, sending him into the dark dangers of the desert night.

After the man left, Abraham sat in his tent feeling that his anger was just and righteous. Just then, the Lord appeared before him. "Where is the old man I sent you Abraham?" asked the Lord. "I made him leave because he didn't believe in you and fear your name" stated Abraham in a self-dignified manner. "Abraham, O Abraham" said the Lord. "I have striven patiently with this old man these past one hundred years, and you could not strive with him just one night?"

Upon hearing that Abraham put his head down low. He conscious was seared and he felt guilty. He looked up to reply to the Lord, but He was gone.

Abraham ran out of the tent and found the old man...he didn't make it too far yet. He aplologized to him and begged him to return. The old man obliged.

During their meal together Abraham explained to the old man all about the miracles and wonders God had done for him. The old man became a believer in God that night. At bedtime they both prayed to God together. The old man asked God to forgive him for all the bad things he had done, promised he would change his ways and that he would live his life in a manner that would please God.

The next morning Abraham went to the old man's tent to awake him for breakfast. But to his surprise, the old man had died during the night.


COMMENTARY

I love this story! It reminds me of the longsuffering and patience God has shown me. While this is a legend I could certainly see such an event happening.

How about you? Is there one or more people that you can think of that you have lost your patience with? Maybe you are one of those parents who has given up on and turned your back on one of your children. Or a child that has turned your back on one or both of your parents. Take heed to the story above and remember, or perhaps realize, the infinite amount of patience God has with you.

Remember also that Jesus said, Blessed are the merciful; for they shall obtain mercy." Matt 5:7


APPLICATION

If this story has the same impact on you as it did me, you probably feel a little convicted about the lack of patience you have shown to one or more people. Did someone come to your mind immediately when you read this story? If so, you know what you need to do. Forgive them! Have patience with all people, knowing the amount of patience God has shown, and continues, to show you.

"For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." Matt 6:14,15

Others may not share your beliefs, morals or values but you are to be Christlike and have patience with them. Don't delay, contact that person today. You never know, it may be your last chance to make ammends and instill hope in them. When you are forgiving and patient to such a person they see the light in you and maybe it will be just enough to permeate the darkness they are in.

Patience is also a great virtue in regards to all of your relationships, your spouse, children, parents, co-workers, friends and strangers.

The next time you find yourself losing your patience with someone, take a deep breath, remember this story and God's patience with you. If you do, I promise you that your reaction will be a good one.

~ J. Lawrence Finley

"I Love You Anyways" ~ How to be loving at all times

Here is a heart warming story in which a man realizes how much his wife really loves him.
One day this man overcame his fear of rejection and decided to ask his boss for a raise in salary. It was Friday. He told his wife that morning what he was about to do. All day the man felt nervous and apprehensive. Late in the afternoon he summoned the courage to approach his employer. To his delight, the boss agreed to a raise.

The man arrived home to a beautiful table set with their best china. Candles were lighted. His wife had prepared a festive meal. Immediately he figured that someone from the office had tipped her off! Finding his wife in the kitchen, he told her the good news. They embraced and kissed, then sat down to a wonderful meal. Next to his plate the man found a beautiful lettered note. It read: "Congratulations, darling! I knew you'd get the raise! These things will tell you how much I love you."

While on his way to the kitchen to get dessert he noticed that a second card had fallen from her pocket. Picking it off the floor, he read: "Don't worry about not getting the raise! You deserve it anyway! These things will tell you how much I love you."

Total acceptance! Total love. Her love for him was not contingent upon his success at work. In fact, just the opposite. If he were to fail there, if he were to be rejected by his boss he'd be all the more accepted at home. She stood behind him no matter what; softening the blows, healing the wounds, believing in him, loving him. We can be rejected by almost anyone if we're loved by one. ~ Dr. Joeseph Harding

COMMENTARY

That truly is a heartwarming story. The wife's actions display the kind of love our heavenly Father has for us. It is a love that is unconditional. God loves us no matter what! When we succeed, when we fail. When we make the right choices and when we make the wrong choices. It matters not to God if you are talented, beautiful, smart, successful or any of the other myriad of so called essential qualities that many deem necessary to make one valuable or loveable.

In the dictionary loveable is defined as; of such a nature as to attract love, deserving love. God's love does not agree with that definition. For God loves all, even those that do not seem deserving of love. Yes He even loves those who are not of such a nature as to attract love. Do you?

We must strive to understand this love, receive it and share it with others. How is it that you love those that matter most to you? Do you only love them when they are loveable? When times are good? When they are treating you how you want to be treated? What about when times are bad, when they don't treat you right, or when they fail or make mistakes. If you only are loving when the other deserves it, it is not true love. It conveys the message that, "I will only love you when you meet my standards." True unconditional love is not like this. It loves in good times and in bad times. It loves you when you are strong and when you are weak.

The sad thing is that many feel that this is how God loves them. When they sin, make mistakes, or fail they feel as if they are no longer worthy of God's love and that He is turning away in anger. This couldn't be further from the truth! "Because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when were dead in transgressions, it is by grace you have been saved." ~ (Ephesians 2:4-5). The best definition I have ever heard of God's grace is undeserved mercy. You see God accepts us as we are, even when we are at our bottoms or our lowest points He stands there with His arms of love just waiting for us. True love yearns for the other's best.

“Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained”
~ C.S. Lewis

APPLICATION

This story is about love and one of the best verses of Love can be found in 1 Corinthians 13. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."

There are many definitions of love in those verses. Perhaps you are strong in some areas such as patience and kindness but you are easily angered and you keep a record of wrongs, always at the ready to bring up to your loved one when you feel they need it. I would suggest going through all these descriptions and find the areas you are weak in. Make it a conscious effort to better yourself in those areas even if it's just one at a time.

Always try to put yourself in the other's shoes. Ask yourself, "If I was them what would I want or need most at this moment?" Remember the golden rule, to treat others as you would want them to treat you. Don't wait for the other to do their part first either. Love is about initiating and giving. I remember a couple being interviewed on the news on Valentines Day. They had been married for over 50 years and were very happy. The reporter separated them and asked them both the same question; "What is the secret to a happy marriage?
The woman replied, "That's simple, I treat him like a king and he treats me like a queen." Then she went over to the husband and his reply was, "That's simple, I treat her like a queen and she treats me like a king." They had come to understand that it was their job to initiate, and not wait for the other. Many in relationships today will wait until they are treated how they want to be until they will treat the other the way they want to be treated. The best thing about doing this properly is that you reap what you sow and your love and kindness will come back to you, just be patient.

Be forgiving! Jesus taught us that we are to ask God to forgive us the same manner in which we forgive others. Are you comfortable to have God forgive you as you forgive others?

Sadly there are cases out there in which you cannot simply say, "I forgive you, all is well." Cases such as abuse, infidelity and other acts of wickedness. There may be times when separation and professional help is needed. Even in these cases we are commanded to love and to pray for the other person. Even if they become our enemies. Jesus said, "You have heard it said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy. But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven...If you love those who love you what reward will you get?" ~ Matthew 5:43-45

I want to close with the image of the greatest act of love this world has ever known, Jesus on the cross. He had been falsely accused, whipped to the edge of death, his bloody beaten body was then painfully nailed to a cross. And what does He say, as he looks at those that did all this to him? " Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."

When those that you love fail you or fail themselves learn to honestly say, "I love you anyways."

J. Lawrence Finley